Seth's Story

Seth's story begins a long, long time ago. Okay, about three years ago, but it has seemed like much longer.



We began hoping for a second child about three years ago, almost exactly. Because of our experience with Emma, we knew that this was not going to be a simple dream. From the very beginning, we knew that adopting was a possibility. Well, after six months of no luck, we finally started to see doctors. We spent several months doing some fairly invasive fertility work. This was the darkest winter of my life. Fertility work is incredibly difficult. I can't count how many times I was pricked, poked, prodded and to no avail. After six months, it became clear that an invitro fertilization procedure was our only hope. We weighed our options, and put fertility on the back burner. Our minds kept coming back to adoption.



Finally, after one last failed fertility procedure, I called a case worker from LDS family services. He met with us in just days. The feeling we had after meeting with him was wonderful. We felt very comforted, and excited. We knew that this was right.



Four months later, our paperwork was finished, and the waiting began. We waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, a birth mom found our profile, and started planning to place her baby with us. A few months later, the time came for her to deliver, and she changed her mind. This was a very sad time for us. We had planned on this baby for three months, and he felt like ours. We had some serious greiving to do, and we were very confused. Was every prompting we had recieved about adopting wrong? Could we trust our feelings about what was right after feeling so good about this little baby?



At this time, we had to re-evaluate what we were doing. We still felt strongly that we were supposed to adopt, but we needed to change something. I started researching different agencies, and after checking out many agencies, we found one called Heart to Heart, located in Sandy, Utah (we didn't know at the time, but we would move to Sandy just a few months later). In making this change, we knew that the baby that would be placed with us would likely be an African American baby, and we felt like this was the change we needed.



The waiting game began again. We recieved phone call after phone call about situations available. Each time, the we or the birth-mom didn't feel good about the fit. After eight of these, we were questioning our feelings again. It was very hard to go through this process, and finally, I called our case worker and asked her to put our file on hold for a while. She said she would, but that she sent our profile out that morning. I didn't thing much of it, because my first thought was that it wouldn't work out anyway. However, the very next day, she called and said that the birth-mom loved us, and wanted to talk to us that day.

We chatted with Sheena for a while, and she was just amazing. She had made a plan for her baby because she has little education, no source of income, and no support from the men in her life. The baby she was carrying would have no father unless she placed him for adoption. She had so much love for her baby, and had felt a connection to us the first time she saw our picture. She said that she felt like she recognized us.



We immediately began planning for the baby, who was due in one month. We signed paperwork, and wired money over, and then, two days later, we moved. As soon as we moved, we met Sheena for breakfast. That meeting went great. She was a beautiful woman. She obviously took care of herself, and she had been very careful through her pregnancy to keep her baby healthy, too. She also had a four-year old son with her, who was very cute and smart.



The next three weeks passed in a blur. We planned for a baby, we hoped for a baby, yet remained skeptical that she would actually go through with it.



Finally, the day of delivery was here. We went to the hospital at 10:oo in the morning. We visited with Sheena for a minute. She was not having a very pleasant labor, so we left and waiting in the waiting room. Finally, nine hours later, the social worker came out and told us that he had been born! He was 6 lbs, 15 oz, much smaller than we were expecting. We went into the room had our first glimpse of our son. He was absolutely beautiful. As soon as I saw him, I knew I loved him and would do anything for him. A look at Dan's teary eyes told me he was thinking the same thing.

We spent the next few hours with Seth in the nursery. We watched his first bath, and just sat and stared at this beautiful little thing. All the while, we were wondering whether he would actually be ours. It was a time of very intense emotions and stress. We already loved him so much, and were terrified that Sheena wouldn't sign the papers.

We spent only a little time with Seth in the hospital. Sheena spent that time with him saying goodbye. It was a very special time for her, and we are very glad that she was able to do that. The little while we spent at the hospital was with her in her room. She was very kind and always asked us if we wanted to feed or change him. She especially enjoyed seeing Dan with him. She knew that he was going to be lucky to have such a good dad.

After a sleepless night, the time came to sign the adoption papers. We went to the hospital, expecting to sign and leave. However, they had us wait in the waiting room while Sheena signed. We didn't know, but it was a very long process. We waited for an hour, wondering what was going on. Was she changing her mind? I was sure that they were going to come out and tell us that we had to go home alone.

Finally, the door opened, and our case worker said "congratulations." I started bawling. It was actually real. He was ours. Sheena has signed the papers, and we really had a son. She had made a plan for her baby, and she remembered that she wanted what was best for him. At that time, we saw Sheena again. She was doing very good, and was at peace with her choice. We gave her a quilt that matched the baby blankie I had sewn for Seth while we waited for him to come. She and he will always have those to connect them with eachother.

The next day, we went to the hospital, with car seat and baby clothes in hand. We dressed him in his going home outfit, buckled him in his seat, and headed out. We said goodbye to Sheena at this time. This was terrible, yet very happy moment for us. We had our son, but we felt Sheena's pain at saying goodbye in a very real way. She was so strong, and we said goodbye.

Finally, we were on our way home. I kept looking back at the little boy in the back seat in wonder. What a miracle this whole experience has been.

Emma was waiting in the driveway for us to arive home to see her little brother. Like us, she immediately fell in love. Then my mom met him, and the same story. That night, we introduced him to all of his grandparents and aunts and uncles, each one as excited as the last to welcome him to our family. Love at first sight.

And rest, I suppose, will be history.